One of our specialties here at Capital Counseling is working with college students. This is the time of year when our clients in college often express feelings of lonliness, isolation, and their struggle to make meaningful connections.
It makes sense. A few weeks have passed since classes started, everyone is getting settled into their new routine, and the excitement of back-to-school has waned. It may appear that everyone else has it figured out and has found their people. It can feel overwhelming to put yourself out there- to choose to be vulnerable- when you are feeling lonely and your brain is telling you to isolate.
If you’re feeling lonely, know that you’re not alone.
A recent study by the American College Health Association found that nearly 63% of college students felt very lonely and 54% felt isolated within the last year.* The good news? There are ways to combat this loneliness and start building meaningful connections.
Here are 7 strategies to help you find your people in college.
1. Be Open
It all starts with being open, both mentally and physically. Having an open mind means being willing to meet different kinds of people and try new things. Being open also extends to your body language. Putting your phone away, taking out your AirPods, and making eye contact can make a significant difference. These actions not only help you be more present and observant but also signal to others that you’re approachable. You never know when a friendly smile or a casual conversation could turn into a meaningful friendship.
2. Say Hello
One of the simplest ways to start connecting with others is by saying hello. Whether it’s to someone in your class, during an elevator ride, or as you walk across campus, small gestures can make a big impact. Research suggests that even brief social interactions can help reduce feelings of loneliness and improve your mood.** So, challenge yourself to greet someone each day—you never know where that initial hello might lead.
3. Get Involved
Loneliness often creeps in when we feel disconnected from our surroundings. The best way to meet people is to put yourself in places where others have the opportunity to get to know you. Getting involved in campus activities is a great way to meet like-minded individuals and create a sense of belonging. Hot tip: Choose three clubs or organizations that resonate with your interests and values—whether it's a sport, a cultural group, or a cause you care about. Make sure at least one is an organization where you feel welcomed just by showing up, even if it means going alone at first. It might take a few attempts to find your fit, but persistence pays off.
4. Explore Life Off Campus:
Sometimes, the best connections happen outside the confines of campus. Exploring local communities, volunteering, or participating in off-campus activities can provide a fresh perspective and new opportunities to meet people. Engaging with the world beyond your college gates helps to broaden your horizons and provides an opportunity to meet people with share interests and values, allowing you to forge connections that feel natural and unforced.
5. Connect with Home:
When you’re feeling especially lonely, reaching out to friends or family members who really know you can be a source of comfort and reassurance. Remember that they want to hear from you on your good and more challenging days. Having familiar voices remind you of your worth and capability can be incredibly grounding. However, it’s important to strike a balance—frequent trips home might seem comforting, but they can also be a way to avoid the challenges of adapting to college life, which may ultimately prolong your loneliness. Use these connections as a way to recharge, but stay committed to building your new life on campus.
6. Seek Professional Help:
If loneliness begins to interfere with your daily functioning, it may be time to seek professional help. Loneliness that persists can affect your mental health and academic
performance.
Reaching out to a mental health professional can provide you with the
support and tools you need to navigate this challenging time. All college campuses have counseling centers with professional mental health clinicians that work with students for free. This may be a good starting place. Their services may be limited, so it may be necessary to work with an off campus clinician.
Don’t hesitate to ask for help—taking care of your mental health is just as important as your academic success.
7. Be Patient:
Making friends and building meaningful relationships takes time, so be patient with yourself throughout the process. Not every interaction will lead to a lasting connection, and that’s perfectly okay. According to a study by the National College Health Assessment, 54% of students reported feeling isolated from others*, a statistic that highlights the commonality of these feelings. Keep showing up, stay open, and trust that connections will come. Keep showing up, being open, and reaching out—your people are out there.
Conclusion
Feeling lonely in college is more common than you might think, but it doesn’t have to define your experience. By staying open, taking small steps to connect, and being patient with yourself, you can start building the relationships that will enrich your college experience. Remember, every great friendship starts somewhere— sometimes all it takes is a simple hello.
Capital Counseling would be honored to help you navigate this difficult time. Capital Counseling specializes in working with college students and understand how challenging it can be to make meaningful connections in college. We’d be honored to help you navigate this difficult time. Reach out today by reaching out here.
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Sources:
*American College Health Association. (2021). National College Health Assessment III: Reference Group Executive Summary Spring 2021. Silver Spring, MD: American College Health Association.
**Sandstrom, G. M., & Dunn, E. W. (2014). Social Interactions and Well-Being: The Surprising Power of Weak Ties. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 40(7), 910-922.
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